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:iconphoenixcursed:

~PhoenixCursed

Phoenix
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About Me Member General Addict PhoenixCursed18/Female/United States Recent Activity Deviant for 1 Year
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Devious Journal Entry

Sat Jul 4, 2009, 10:09 PM
1. Your Name:
Phoenix

2. Age:
<No Answer>

3. Single or Taken:
Taken...Surprisingly

4. Favorite Film:
Multiple Favorites

5. Favorite Song or Album:
Multiple Favorites

6. Favorite Band/Artist:
Multiple Favorites

7. Dirty or Clean:
Clean, but lazy, so often ends up Dirty

8. Tattoos and/or Piercings:
About to get snakebites, had four piercings in each ear, needs to get re-pierced. About to get a tattoo as well.

9. Do we know each other outside of DA?
I do not believe so.

10. What's your philosophy on life?
There are many. Which aspect of life are we talking about?

11. Is the bottle half-full or half-empty?
Half-empty

12. Would you keep a secret from me if you thought it was in my best interest?
Do you even need to ask?

13. What is your favorite memory of us?
Hmmmm

14. What is your favorite guilty pleasure?
....<No Answer>

15. Tell me one odd/interesting fact about you:
Half of my personality contradicts the other half.

16. You can have three wishes (for yourself, so forget all the 'world peace etc' malarkey) - what are they?
1.)That the ones I love would find someone to love them and take care of them no matter what.
2.)My friends will lead happy lives.
3.)When I die, everyone would forget about me. (Suicide, Homicide, Accident. It doesn't matter, they would forget)

17. Can we get together and make a cake?
Why not? I am a pretty fair baker.

18. Which country is your spiritual home?
Depends...

19. What is your big weakness?
<No Answer>

20. Do you think I'm a good person?
Yes

21. What was your best/favorite subject at school?
Science and Math are my favorites. I am good in all my subjects...
Inner Me: *coughs*
Well when I pay attention and do the work anyway...

22. Describe your accent:
It is a mild southern accent, though barely noticeable by most because I work on it.

23. If you could change anything about me, would you?
No.

24. What do you wear to sleep?
Whatever.

25. Trousers or skirts?
Trousers.

26. Cigarettes or alcohol?
Both.

27. If I only had one day to live, what would we do together?
I would do whatever you wanted. (lol that sounded dirty....)

28. Will you re-post this so I can fill it out for you?
Sure.

15 Comments | Previous Journal Entries
  • Mood: Neutral
  • Listening to: nothing
  • Reading: nothing
  • Watching: nothing
  • Playing: nothing
  • Eating: nothing
  • Drinking: nothing

deviantID

A girl laughed along with her friends. They were teasing her and a boy. Her best friend. Once again, they were playing match-maker. This time, the "match made in heaven" was Ash and Sam. Everytime the subject was brought up, Ash laughed and said, "Come on guys! Sam is JUST my friend! That's all." Sam would laugh and add, "Ya, and and Ash is like a little sister to me!"

Eventually though, they began to realize there was a little more than friendship between them. Ash loved another guy, and Sam loved a different girl. But they couldn't deny they felt something for eachother.

So Sam asked Ash out. Ash said yes and it was decided that they would go to the movies at the Quarry, Friday night. When the date was over, they were surprised at how well that date went. They were now seeing eachother "exclusively."

The monday after, their friends were ecstatic! They knew their friends would be awesome together! Everything was great, but on the wednesday of next week, Ash decided they had to talk. She came up with all kinds of reasons they might break up. Their love for someone else, She would hate herself if she cheated on him, Her committment issues and trust issues. They talked to eachother.

Ash knew Sam was suicidal, but never knew how close to death he really was. Sam also knew Ash hated her life, but what he didn't know was Ash was planning to end her life that Friday. Ash's mom called an hour later and she had to go home. She agreed to Sam's proposal to think over what she wanted to do that night.

The next morning Ash knew. She was going to break up with Sam. At school, right after lunch, she told him. All he said was, "I really wish you wouldn't do this." When all Ash did was shrug her shoulders, he smiled sadly and walked away. Later she recieved a text from Sam. At the end of the day, Ash was pulled out of class by school administrators, a police officer and some counselors.

Ash was no stranger to trouble but couldn't remember doing anything serious enough to warrant this. Once she was in the Vice Principal's Office, they gave her the news. Sam had driven out to the the cemetary next to his house.... and had shot himself in the head. Ash, knowing the answer already, asked, "Did he survive?" They said, "No,... We are sorry. You were the first to know, so we would like for you not to tell anyone until his family knows."

Of course he was dead. Sam never does anything half-way, Ash thought. Then she realized something. The real reasom she broke up with him... was because subconsciously, she knew she loved him. So she ran away from her feelings.

The next few weeks were hard and passed by seemingly in a fog. She knew she couldn't commit suicide. Not now. Not after this. She couldn't hurt her friends again when their wounds were still so raw. His death brought her closer to some of her friends... but some people blamed her too.

Her friends stood up for her and anyone who said anything bad about Sam.... well something always happened to them. Ash was about to turn a year older.... but Sam's birthday passed first. It was a rough day for her, but she put a smile on her face and helped her friends out.

She blamed herself, and still does, no matter what she says to friends. And Ash is still unsure of whether or not she was just biding her time. Waiting until she can commit suicide herself.... or if she was slowly healing.

If only she hadn't run away from her feelings, would she have made it past Friday? If Sam hadn't died, would it have been her death her friends mourned?

I was Ash. I was the one who ran away from my feelings. And I am the one who regrets it each day. So I want to tell you to never run away. You don't know the effects it will have on others. Now I do, and I wish I could have changed what I did. But I can't. And I will have to live with that for the rest of my life.

deviantART Notice

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Comments


~Insane-Genius-13:iconInsane-Genius-13: 4 days 16 hours ago
I tagged you :)

--
15 minutes of laughter = the benefit of 2 hours sleep
Laughing for 15 seconds adds 2 days to your life span
Hard work never killed anyone, but why take the chance?
If barbie isn't a slut, why do you buy her boyfriends??
He who laughs last didn't get it
:)
*mattwilson83:iconmattwilson83: 6 days 13 hours ago
Thanx for watching :wave:

--
Hate me not for the plotlines I weave, but for the cliffhangers that precede me :D
~Lol-Im-Hyper:iconLol-Im-Hyper: 6 days 17 hours ago
THIS IS A HUG CERTIFICATE!

Send one to all your friends who you think deserve a hug (which, hopefully includes the person who sent it to you)!!

You might send it to your enemies as well!
It'll really make them stop and think!!!

If you don't receive this back, nobody likes you, and they wish you'd stop bugging them!


If you receive this back 1 time, open up! Find more friends, enemies, or enemies pretending to be friends

If you receive this back 2 times, you're off to a good start! (Unless you sent it to yourself! That's cheating!)

If you receive this back 3 times, you're a good friend.

If you receive this back 4 times, you're truly loved as a friend!!

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__88888222222222222222U22222222__888
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YOU'VE BEEN HUGGED!

Spread the DA love around! (you can copy and paste this message on their userpage!)

RULES:
1- You can hug the person who hugged you!
2- You -MUST- hug 6 other people, at least!
3- You should hug them in public! Paste it on their user page!
4- Random hugs are perfectly okay! (and sweet)
5- You should most definitely get started hugging right away

Send This To All Your Friends, And Me If I Am 1.
If You Get 7 Back You Are Loved!

1-3: you're a bad friend
4-6: you're an ok friend
7-9: you're a good friend
10-& Up: you're a great friend

--
I think its quite possible that im falling in love with you. :heart:
~FoxxenFire:iconFoxxenFire: Jul 8, 2009, 12:56:19 AM
Thanks for the favs!

ALL HAIL JASHIN!!!

--
It's really hot in here,
But keep on all your clothes.
Except for you, Hidan,
You need to take your clothes off.

"Tobi's a schoolgirl in love with her Sempai!"~Tobi
"I'm gonna crash, bash, and smash your ass!!"~Hidan
*Sambre-sambre:iconSambre-sambre: Jul 7, 2009, 9:31:44 AM
Thank you very much for the watch! ^-^

--
:star:Dark Prince vol.3 now on sale!:star:

:bulletyellow:Commissions:[link] :bulletyellow:
~SelfDeemedAnimeQueen:iconSelfDeemedAnimeQueen: Jul 7, 2009, 2:50:23 AM
thanks for the fav! ^^ it means alot to me

--
remember the past, look towards the future, and live for today.
--
i take requests!!
~Lenap:iconLenap: Jul 6, 2009, 11:14:15 PM
hello)))
thanks for watch))))

--
i open for commissions
mostly i do this not for myself
but to help people
~Taxidermy9407:iconTaxidermy9407: Jul 6, 2009, 8:51:57 PM
Thanks for the favorites! <3

--
素晴らしきかな、この世界
*shadowkatz:iconshadowkatz: Jul 6, 2009, 6:25:57 PM
Thanks very much for the :+devwatch:! I really appreciate it :heart:
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